Thursday, April 28, 2005

The deadestrian

There has been a traffic safety campaign in Latvia, which an incident today inspired me to find a translation for. In Latvian it is "Gājējs vai bojāgājējs". Today it struck me that it could be translated as "Pedestrian or deadestrian".
I was walking home from work and chatting with an aquaintence. Just as we parted near the Osiris cafe favored by ex-pats in Riga, some dumb fucker ran into traffic and met his counterpart, an ABTW (asshole behind the wheel) who was racing to beat the lights. It was a dramatic near miss. The ABTW's lady companion buried her face in her hands. The dumb fucker stopped short of colliding with the left front door of the ABTW's bright red newly washed car. He then pranced around the car and ran off with a brain-dead shiteating grin on his face. I think he was running to catch the tram. Considering the trams on Barona Street run every few minutes during the evening rush hour (it was around 18:30), this would have been a rather silly waste of a fuckwit life (at worst) or a major expense for the medical system (shattered legs, ribs, pelvis, the kind of stuff that getting whacked by ABTW doing around 30 klicks would have done).
It made me think, shit, it was just Old Lady Dumb Luck, the guardian angel of the mentally underprivileged, that prevented a major readjusment of the fucker's vital anatomic components and the bashing in of ABTW's windshield and door. At least ABTW would not have roared off to endanger others, but been left dealing with the police and fixing his ride.
In a rare piece of good news, it seems that the slaughter on Latvia's roads is down noticeably from last year. Still high enough for several funerals a day, but not as bad as earlier. One would like to think that it is the population, at last, coming to its senses. On the other hand, it could be just Lady Dumb Luck doing her thing.


rene said...

Or it's just because we gradually run out of both Dumb Fuckers and ABTW's, as they're efficiently removing themselves from our surroundings...

See a more complete theory on this benefitial phenomenon on

Geo said...

"Old Lady Dumb Luck, the guardian angel of the mentally underprivileged"
Hehe nice one